


When You Wake Up, the World Will Come Around

by PadawanRyan



Series: Nightmares [2]
Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Denial of Feelings, Dreams and Nightmares, Episode Related, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Post Episode: s04e04 Doppelganger, Pre-Slash, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24345712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PadawanRyan/pseuds/PadawanRyan
Summary: The real Sheppard had come into his dream and tried to protect him and goddamn if Rodney’s subconscious couldn’t stop fucking reading into that.So maybe it hadn’t been the whale nightmare again, but he never fucking asked for this.
Relationships: Referenced Katie Brown/Rodney McKay, Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Series: Nightmares [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757599
Comments: 5
Kudos: 42





	When You Wake Up, the World Will Come Around

**Author's Note:**

> So, [Eos1969](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eos1969/pseuds/Eos1969) put the idea in my head after writing the other oneshot yesterday about John's nightmares to write one from Rodney's perspective, so this is what I imagine was going through Rodney's head before and after she showed up at Teyla's room in the middle of the night. It's definitely lighter than the previous fic - John's was very angsty because he was having legitimate traumatizing nightmares, and Rodney's is more...well, Rodney overthinking things - but it was fun to write.
> 
> I didn't cry when I wrote this one, but I am nonetheless pretty pleased with how it turned out. And for reference, I imagined all of this kinda taking place shortly after Missing (S04E07) so at this point Rodney isn't considering proposing to Katie yet - Jeannie hasn't yet put that thought into his head - but they are definitely still together.
> 
> This also took forever for me to even post because I couldn't decide on a title. I'm very particular about titles.

All things considered, the nightmare wasn’t quite so horrifying as some had been as of late. He wasn’t even sure he could call it a nightmare. That being said, he wasn’t quite sure what _else_ to call it, because it certainly wasn’t a _good_ dream.

He never asked for this. He never asked for stupid brilliant cocky rakish Lieutenant Colonel Sheppard with _that ass—_

He just never asked for this, is all.

Because what could possibly be good about having dreams like that about Sheppard? About the man who would sleep with every sexy alien woman they meet – except for maybe Teyla, but he certainly hadn’t forgotten that Sheppard had _tried_ when he was, you know, transforming into a gross _bug_ – but who would probably never given Rodney McKay a second glance? Yeah, he had never asked to dream about Sheppard and yet, that’s what had been happening for weeks — since the thing with the alien organism causing everyone’s nightmares, actually.

Which, he supposed, probably made sense. Sheppard had appeared in everyone’s nightmares, including his own.

Except, unlike everyone else’s nightmare, the _actual_ Sheppard had made an appearance in his. Because Sheppard had some sort of hero complex and had to protect Rodney. That was sweet, he couldn’t lie to himself about that, but Sheppard would have done that for _anyone_ and Rodney just happened to be the next person in line.

The real Sheppard had come into his dream and tried to protect him and goddamn if Rodney’s subconscious couldn’t stop fucking reading into that.

So maybe it hadn’t been the whale nightmare again, but he never fucking asked for this.

The worst part is that they weren’t even sexual dreams. If they had been sexual dreams, perhaps he could blame it on the fact that he hadn’t been sexually active in a while. He was certainly happy with Katie, but they were both very busy scientists – Rodney _especially_ – so it was natural that they wouldn’t really get the chance to, you know, be intimate all too often. So yeah, had they been sexual dreams, then Rodney could surely just blame it on _that_. But no, they had to be…something else entirely.

It wasn’t even as though he was reliving Sheppard’s dream, the one he had gone into to save the man. Because that was a traumatic enough event – a man could get lost in his own nightmare, especially when he had to fight _himself_ , and Rodney couldn’t possibly let Sheppard get beaten and possibly murdered by his own fucking image – that he could justify reliving it. Rodney was certain that other people were reliving their nightmares from that whole ordeal.

But _no_ , it wasn’t _that_ either.

His nightmares seemed to show him and Sheppard just…together. Domestic. Smiling. Cuddling. Doing everything he should be _wanting_ to do with Katie.

And how could that _not_ be a nightmare situation? He didn’t want to be domestic with _Colonel Sheppard_ , he was a _guy_ and maybe Rodney hadn’t been particularly choosy about his sexuality – he certainly never suggested that he was straight, even if he hadn’t outright stated that he was anything but – but that didn’t mean that he wanted _that_ with a _guy_ like _Colonel Sheppard_. Right?

His head was reeling. He was supposed to be a genius – he _was_ a genius – but he felt as though he was completely lost in this situation, like this was one equation he would never be able to solve.

But what did you do when you didn’t have the answer to something? You asked for help.

Rodney did _not_ want to ask for help about this. Who would he even ask about this? He certainly couldn’t ask Lieutenant Colonel Dream-Stealer about it, he could only imagine how that conversation would go – _“You’ve been dreaming about me, huh? Good dreams?”_ and all the teasing that would come with it – and he wasn’t exactly keen about anyone else knowing that he was _dreaming about Sheppard_. People were going to think he had _feelings_ for Sheppard and that was the _last_ —

Oh, huh. Somehow, that didn’t actually seem impossible. It seemed – dare he think it – _possible_.

Why wasn’t he freaking out more about this?

He was freaking out more only moments earlier when he had considered having domestic dreams about Sheppard but as soon as he threw _feelings_ into the mix, suddenly it was all okay?

There was definitely something wrong with his brain. Maybe he had touched some sort of weird Ancient device without remembering and it was messing with his ability to think rationally, because since when is having feelings for Sheppard less anxiety-inducing than having potentially meaningless dreams about Sheppard? And who said he was actually experiencing feelings for Sheppard? Just because it _made sense_ didn’t mean—

He wasn’t going to kid himself, he was smart enough to be able to draw a line between two dots. There was definitely _something_ there.

Okay, so _feelings_ for John Sheppard. He could work with that.

Or well, he _could_ work with that if it wasn’t _stupid brilliant cocky rakish Sheppard who sleeps with every sexy alien woman they meet_.

Somehow, he was pretty sure that Sheppard would never return his feelings.

But then again, why would he need Sheppard to return them? What was he even going to do about this revelation? Rodney was in a long-term relationship with a nice woman who actually liked him back. He would be crazy to give that up just because he realized that perhaps he felt _something_ for his best friend. That happened to a lot of people, didn’t it? And they didn’t let it affect their relationships — plenty of people experienced feelings for other people while they were happy with someone else and it never needed to be anything more, so Rodney really didn’t need to do anything about the whole Sheppard situation.

Except that, thanks to the dreams – _nightmares_ , he reminded himself, these were _nightmares_ – he now knew what a life with John Sheppard would feel like, and oh, how he ached for that. It actually seemed so effortlessly perfect in a way that shouldn’t seem _real_.

And that was the kicker, wasn’t it? They were _dreams_ , so obviously they weren’t real.

But try as he might to just forget about it, he couldn’t. Rodney was a genius but he was also a very anxious man and his brain was always experiencing a million thoughts per second, overthinking everything he has ever thought or done. So, naturally, just rolling over in bed and trying to think about _anything else_ – breasts! Katie’s breasts! Or the curve of her tiny little ass, which really couldn’t quite compare to Sheppard’s ass if he was totally honest – well, that just wasn’t working for him.

Okay, so maybe he should talk to someone about it. Not to actually work through things – no, he was happy with what he had – but maybe it would _go away_ if he talked about it. That’s how these things worked, right?

So, he threw back his comforter and rolled out of bed. He wasn’t going to even bother putting on pants – this really shouldn’t take more than a second, anyway: just get it off his chest and then come back and go to bed and dream of _anything_ but these Sheppard nightmares – and instead just slipped on his slippers and walked out the door before he could talk himself out of it. This would work, this _had_ to work, and Teyla would be the least likely of all the people closest to him to…well, judge him for it. She would be reasonable about it.

What he hadn’t counted on was reaching Teyla’s room and the door being answered by Ronon. Damn, he thought that she would be alone.

Why would Ronon be in Teyla’s room in the middle of the night? And was that Sheppard's hair? “Ronon! Sheppard! I…” he began thinking over what he could possibly say before running as fast as he could back to his room. “I can come back, I just—”

But as Ronon stepped aside to let Rodney in at Teyla’s insistence, another sight caused his heart to lodge in his chest.

There sat Sheppard, right beside Teyla on the bed, which otherwise might have been suspect – Sheppard on a woman’s bed in the middle of the night? Okay, _Kirk_ – except that he looked…oh god, he looked like someone else entirely, because the John Sheppard he knew _didn’t cry_ , and the John Sheppard sitting on that bed had a red, tear-stained face and puffy eyes that suggested that he had only _just_ stopped crying. His Sheppard was emotionally stunted — well, Rodney knew he _felt_ things, he knew more than anyone else that actions spoke louder than words and Sheppard certainly had plenty of actions to demonstrate his feelings, but his Sheppard certainly never wore his heart on his sleeve like that.

And this Sheppard looked like…well, Rodney wasn’t even sure what the comparison might be. For him, having to watch Jeannie die over and over and over again would probably do that to him. But then again, he had almost shed a tear or two over fear for Sheppard before – such as when Kolya had kidnapped him – so Rodney was maybe a little easier at crying than the colonel.

But oh god, how his heart _ached_ at seeing such a sight. He never wanted to see such pain on Sheppard’s face and yet there it was.

Rodney could fear his heart tearing into two, second-hand heartbreak just from seeing what could possibly be the love of his life – and oh, he was going to have to revisit that thought sometime again when there weren’t more important things at hand – experiencing such agony.

And then suddenly — “Come here, Rodney.”

That was Sheppard. Sheppard was asking Rodney to come to him.

Well, when the man looked like _that_ , there was no possible way for Rodney to turn down such a request. He would give anything to never have to see Sheppard look like that ever again, and if all the man really had to request was Rodney’s presence, then well, _that_ he could give. So, when the other man’s arm reached out, the scientist found himself moving toward the bed, sitting softly beside the colonel, and letting him wrap that arm around him. Sheppard squeezed him a bit, as though he was afraid Rodney would run away, and Rodney couldn’t help it — he felt an incredible rush of affection for the other man.

His head was held low but he noticed when Ronon took a seat on Teyla’s other side, leaning in to join his forehead with hers before John threw his other arm around her and pulled her close to him too. Rodney couldn’t even feel jealous about that, because this? This was his family. Sure, Jeannie was also his family – she always would be – but these were people who were not obligated to love him. These were people who had _chosen_ to love him.

Ronon threw his arm around the three of them and everyone huddled together in a group hug, and god, it was absolutely perfect.

Rodney almost forgot the entire reason he even came to Teyla’s room until he noticed Sheppard’s eyes on him, and when he met the other man’s gaze, it was like everything had slotted into place for him.

Oh, he wouldn’t have been able to say exactly _what_ had slotted into place at that moment, but he could read those eyes better than anyone else and he _knew_ there was something akin to _devotion_ in them. He couldn’t help but feel another rush of affection for the man, despite that the thought terrified him – and what could he possibly do about it? What about Katie and everything he thought he wanted? – because…well, this was John Sheppard. There was nothing more perfect about that moment and, even though he didn’t know quite what was going on, he wouldn’t trade it for the galaxy.

So, when Sheppard – _John_ , he reminded himself, _his name is John_ – tightened his grip around Rodney and the scientist thought he felt the other man’s _lips_ grazing the side of his head as he leaned into the hug…

Well, Rodney was pretty sure he could stop classifying those dreams as nightmares.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on social media: **padawanryan** on [Tumblr](https://padawanryan.tumblr.com/), [Twitter](https://twitter.com/PadawanRyan), and [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/padawanryan/). ✌️


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